Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
