I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
