so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
