Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
