i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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