It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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