You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize