forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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