I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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