Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
