i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
