their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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