Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
