And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
