mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
