If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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