He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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