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i don't like sucking hair
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
