i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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