So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
