so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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