i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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