He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
