How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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