I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Acid is not a monday night drug
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize