things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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