Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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