it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
