Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
