In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
