maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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