I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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