That's intense
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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