I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
