I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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