Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
