I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize