He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
