And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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