youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
