we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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