Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
