Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
