you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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