Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
