I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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