I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
