don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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