When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
