I could have mohawked her pubes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
