Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
