pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
