Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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