We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize