it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
