dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
