ugly people sure do ruin things
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
