: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
