turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
