My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
