they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
